If you watch the show, then enjoy the nostalgia. If you don't watch, hopefully this piques your interest. And really, if you don't watch, you need to. 'Nuff said.
Neal: "The dance is tomorrow. She's a cheerleader. You've seen Star Wars 27 times. You do the math."
Mr. Rosso: "You're our best Mathlete."
Lindsay: "Please don't say that."
Nick: "Teachers want us to work, and I say, 'Fine, I'll work. But you've gotta let me do the kind of work that I wanna do.' And for me, it's my drum kit, man. This is my passion. This is the essence of who I am now. But before I had this, I was lost, too. You see what I'm saying? You need to find your reason for living. You've gotta find your big, gigantic drum kit."
Mr. Weir: "I used to have a friend who smoked, you know what happened to him? He died!"
Lindsay: "All my new friends think I'm some goody-two-shoes and all my old friends think I'm throwing my life away. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
Mr. Weir: "Elvis didn't expectorate on his fans."
Sam: "No. But he died on the toilet."
Mr. Weir: "Well, that's paradise compared to where the Sex Pistols are gonna end up."
Daniel: "I love being told not to drink by a pot-head hippie guidance counselor."
Neal: "Bill, Dallas sucks."
Bill: "You suck! Dallas rules!"
Lindsay: "Hey, Bill. Get up. That's how the drummer from Led Zeppelin died."
Mr. Weir: "Last time I had this much fun, I was pinned down in a foxhole by the North Koreans."
Millie: "She does it."
Lindsay: "What do you mean, it?"
Millie: "She fornicates it!"
Sam: "Will girls ever like us?"
Neal: "I think our best play is to go for the smart, sexy librarian type."
Daniel: "Rock 'n roll don't come from your brain. It comes from your crotch."
Bill: "It wasn't a squeak. It was the sound of cheese being cut."
Bill: "Fredericks, you're a turd...a stinky f-fat turd. Go sniff a jock strap, you poop head. You love patting boys' butts...butt...you butt-patter! You're a perv and a loser and a stinky t-turd!"
Mr. Weir: "You think I don't appreciate you? Well, I do. Everything I do I do to serve you. I think of you when I'm stocking fishing poles. I think of you when I'm answering questions about cross country ski wax. My whole life is about serving you. And I love you, Jean."
Neal: "So I wake up this morning, and guess what's sitting at the foot of my bed?"
Bill: "A turd?"
Neal: "Yes Bill, a turd."
Daniel: "All right, fine, I'll be a dwarf, but my name is Carlos."
Bill: "Carlos the dwarf?"
Daniel: "Yeah, you got a problem with that, Gorthon?"
Sam: "I don't need another friend. I already have two."
Lindsay: "We're all unhappy. That's the thing about life."
Bill: "No, these are not bionic...these are all me."
Lindsay: "Mr. Rosso, Nick and I are just friends."
Mr. Rosso: "Hey, no need to explain anything to me. I got it on in a van at Woodstock."